In My Eyes


The Sweet Escape

I take pencil to paper and draw my way out of my world...

[Cell Phone Post]

Hey, this is Naminé! I'm not available to answer the phone right now, which probably means I've gotten focused on some drawing or painting, but leave me a message and I'll get back to you once I'm out of my artistic haze! Thanks!

In My Eyes
Classes will start back on Monday. I have to admit, I'm a little relieved for it. I'll be glad to get back to the grind of doing something every day. Plus we're taking trips this coming semester, so that should be exciting!

On the whole, it's been a pretty uneventful summer for me, compared to last year, for example. A few other people have had a more interesting time, but rather them than me! I'm quite content to be boring if the things that have happened over this summer equate to excitement!

I guess my main question here is to my sister: when are you coming home? Our kitty is getting restless; you know she doesn't like it when one of us is gone! And I've been thinking of finally moving out of the dorms and getting an apartment. Just you and me, so the cat won't be upset! What do you think?

I've picked another Photography class this year. But we didn't do much in the manner of actually photographing anything last time, but this time a professional camera is a must to pass the class, so... any recommendations? Something that isn't too hefty but still has a good resolution would be preferable.

I also hear there are going to be nude male models in the Body Sketching class this year... might be a little excited about that...! I think the guys in that class as well have requested nude female models as well... They're trying to actually get some of the girls in the class to do the modeling! I can't believe they had the gall to ask me...

Any other news?

That Sad Requiem
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I've enjoyed traveling around this summer, but I'm looking forward to going home. It's going to be a year soon, since my dad died (no, my birth dad is still alive; I'm talking about my adoptive father). I really want to be with my mom when that happens because, even though my mom has someone new in her life (mine and Kairi's dad), I know she misses him all the time. We all do.

I've gotten to do a lot of cooking with the locals, though! I've taken a few classes, just to see what I can learn, and it's been good fun! I think I have enough under my belt now to keep Kairi and me fed for another semester, ha! I'm kidding, though, we usually alternate cooking duty when we decide to eat together. It's cheaper than going out to eat.

I can't believe I'll be a Junior in a few weeks... it really feels like only yesterday I was a Freshman, all nervous and shaky! But I have art trips to look forward to this year and the prep work for my final piece next school year. I don't know what I'll do after senior year, to be honest... what do artists do when they graduate? Go on and do an MA?

I don't know... suggestions anyone?

That Sad Requiem
It's always good to be around family!

I was pretty surprised when Kairi just announced that we were leaving for Midgar, but I'm glad we did! I needed out of our room and Twilight Town. Pence, I'm so sorry I just disappeared on you there, but I'm okay! It's all good out here! ♥

Dad can be so pushy and insistent~

There was a lot of bad energy when I left town. It was getting worse as we got on the plane with dad. Some people are just impossible...

I'm sure things will have all worked out by the time we get home! That's the hope, at any rate.

I've taken my cards and my sketch pads with me to keep me occupied, so you all know I won't be bored! I think I've been quite down since Xion left (not as down as poor Jenova. Speaking of whom, are you alright? <3), so it's good to get out and follow through with the plans we had.

We're going to do a lot of traveling when dad finally lets us go! It'll be nice to see the worlds! I'll send postcards!

Have any of you ever felt like your life is floating by on a grey cloud? No noise, no wind, nothing...? Or like you're floating on your back in a greyish black lake and you know that, any second, you're going to capsize and drown?

That's how I've been for the past month or two. I've been spending a lot of time alone recently, thinking about things I haven't been able to control in my life. My dreams and my visions have been clouded with darkness and dark things; all I can seem to see is bad things, terrible things, despair... I sometimes wonder why I am the way I am, seeing things the way I see them but not being able to do anything about them when my drawings leap off of the page into reality.

Everywhere around me is anger, sadness, tragedy... I just can't get away from it. Even in solitude, it's clinging to me like a bad odor. I'm starting to feel things on people that I don't want to feel; their hatred of one another, their less-savoury wants. I've been wondering if I'm going crazy. Or maybe if I just sound like some tragic record stuck on repeat. It's just... my visions upset me, even more so when I can't tell a dream from reality. I saw Serendipity burning to the ground in my dream. I saw the man behind those meaningless cards, though not his face, and that he's still out there and waiting for his moment. I saw Xion leaving. And a fire. I see a fire. But not the one at Serendipity. This one is far more furious and was caused by someone with a familiar energy; someone I've met before. Someone I know. But I couldn't see his face. I want to stop all of this from happening, but I have the power to see, not to change. I'm not strong enough for that.

I'm so sorry... I'm getting down in the dumps again! It's times like this I miss my papa... I wish he were still here, though I know he's happy that my mom has someone so nice in her life now. He's watching over us. I barely see my sister nowadays. It's sad because I miss her being around.

I don't have much else going on. I paint, I draw, I practice my violin, the cycle repeats. And I'm always wary of fire now.

B&amp;W Look
Exciting things are happening!

I managed to land a role in the upcoming production of 'Hook', I'm on course to pass all my classes comfortably and not have to go to summer school AND another summer of adventure awaits! Thanks for volunteering to travel with me, Xee, it just wouldn't be fun on my own! xx

And Kairi, I would have invited you again, but I figured you wouldn't want to spend another summer out on the road again. We're going to be hitting your home of the Destiny Islands, at least, but I'm not too sure where else... any other suggestions, Xee?

Has anyone heard from Vaan since he went back home? I miss him...

Oh, and if anyone wants to see a beautified Zidane, just contact me and I'll email you the pictures and video we got :P

I'm glad for the distractions, really. Things haven't been so great with me lately...

B&amp;W Look
It's been over a month and what I have to show for my silence includes several paintings, two sculpture pieces and two Art History papers. I've made some serious progress on my portfolio!

I had a thought recently, though, about losing friends; it's always such a sad thing when friends grow apart, especially when there's no solid reason as to why it happened. I don't want to lose any of my friends, so I'm resolving to be a lot more social this semester.

To all of my friends: I want to see a lot more of all of you. Let's get together more this year, okay? :)

I also got something interesting from my brother Leo this week: A Murder Mystery game. I'm not talking about a board game like Clue, but a role-playing Murder Mystery game. Leo said he played it with his friends in high school and they had fun, so he thought I could use it (now that I have friends, haha!). I don't know... would anyone be interested in a Murder Mystery Night? If I can get enough people interested, I don't see why we shouldn't do it!

And I've joined up with the Dramatic Society! I'm hoping to audition for my first role this year in "Hook". One of the directors of the society suggested I go for Tinkerbell because I'm petite and "look like a fairy", so... I'm gonna give it a shot!

And Pence, I'm free this weekend, wanna hang out? :)

I only updated this a couple of days ago, but I wanted to express gratitude to those who expressed their apologies for their behaviour associated with the mess surrounding my sister, Zidane and my sister's friends. It's a huge relief to me to see and hear my sister starting to feel better thanks to this exchange of apologies. There are still some things that need to be said between certain people (they know who they are, and I don't plan on letting up on them until they do) but on the whole the situation has fizzled out very well. Thanks again :)

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That's all. I'm thinking of trying out for the Drama Society this year. I promised myself I'd do something different this year, something the old me would never have done, and that seems to work for me. I like acting, too!

B&amp;W Look
I'm going to get this over with right now. Just so I can kill it.

Please leave Kairi, her friends and Zidane alone. The level of verbal abuse that has been thrown around has been just... wrong. I know the story, as Kairi's sister, and it's no one's business but those involved. Other people shouldn't be throwing their ten cents in just because they can, because it just hurts people and it's just as wrong and unfair as the whole affair is itself.

What transpired between Kairi and her friends is their business. I got a gist of what was said, and while it was unfair and probably said in haste and anger, no one has any right to blame them for Kairi's decision. I know my sister; she has a strong and capable mind and can make her own choices without being biased by the words of others. Saying such cruel and unpleasant things make you just as bad as those you are condemning. I don't know Zidane, I've never met him so I don't want to judge, but Kairi made her own choice and we need to respect it, not throw blame at whoever is closest just for convenience. There is no one to blame. No one.

Can we just leave this lie now and all apologise for the cruel things that have been said to who they have been said to or about? Can we rise above this petty madness and just move forward? We're not kids in a schoolyard anymore; we're grown-ups. And we should act as such.

Everyone should just apologise. By everyone, I mean everyone who has thrown a cruel word into this pyre. It'll clear the bad air. And trust me, there's a lot of it.

Let's just try and get along rather than separating into angry sects, yeah?

In the only other news I have, I had a strange dream when I took a nap a few hours ago. It was just blackness, but I could hear someone screaming, like they were afraid or in pain, and there was an air of... fear and distress. No idea what it means. Maybe I never will...

In My Eyes
I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

All of my coursework has been handed up, my sculpture pieces are just about finished and I'm ready to relax for Christmas! Can someone remind me when the ball is? I have a date for it, so I need to know when it is ;)

Xion, did you want any extra help with your pre-Ball party? I'm willing to volunteer if you do!

The Art Department Christmas Party was last weekend. It was... interesting. Open bar meant people were drunk everywhere you turned. I was one of the only ones there who was merely tipsy and not out-and-out drunk. After two cocktails, four shots and some mixer pops, I was surprised to be sober! I'm sure there are photos of me, though, being silly.

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